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Relationship and Self-Respect Effectiveness (Additionals skills to use with DEARMAN)

Relationships are not just about what we need, but also what the other person needs as well. In the previous blog, the DEARMAN skill video demonstrated the guidelines on how to request your needs or how to say no to unwanted requests effectively. In this blog, we will add to the DEARMAN skill (the what to say) the GIVE and FAST skills (the how to say it). These skills enable you to make your requests known while taking care of the relationship and keeping your self-respect.

Improving or maintaining a good relationship (Stop and read that again…) with the other person in an interaction is the goal we’re striving for WHILE getting your needs met. This is called relationship effectiveness. Being effective in this way is achieved by focusing on the manner in which you go about asking for what you want or saying no. Getting our needs met in a relationship should not require sacrificing or damaging the relationship trust in order to do so. It should also not mean you do all the compromising. In the next short video, you can learn a few key steps on how to get or keep healthy relationships. It will demonstrate how to communicate respect for the other person’s feelings while balancing your own needs. The acronym for this skill is GIVE; be Gentle, act Interested, Validate, and use an Easy Manner.

Sometimes in relationships, you might find yourself betraying your values and beliefs to receive approval or to get what you want. The FAST skill is an important component for effective communication that allows you to maintain your self-respect and requires you to be truthful about the problems, and not to sacrifice your values or integrity. FAST stands for be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to your values, Be Truthful. The video below demonstrates this skill

The more you practice these skills, the quicker you will build mastery and become more effective in communicating with others. You build mastery by practicing daily, and by starting with small interactions and moving to the more complex. Good Luck! Let us know how it went by clicking here.

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